Why, Shakespeare could have come from any nationality, you see. It's only appropriate we depict him with a golden tan. If you think about it, he merely happened to be an Englishman. We can't treat accidents as essentials. What matters is Shakespeare's "universal spirit." In fact, since Shakespeare belongs to the world, it's actually racist to try to nationally appropriate him. He's as much the property of China or Zimbabwe as he is of Britain. More so, given the historic wrongs of the white race, which can only be compensated for by a re-appropriation of the stolen literary and artistic gifts of the developing world, which were unfairly distributed in the first place. To deny them their Shakespeare is the sort of cultural colonization we're fighting, and that every supporter of equality should loudly condemn. Q: What about Gabriel Garcia Marquez? A: An immortal representative of the Columbian genius, of course.